I posted this..
2011, clean slate, new dreams, new goals, new adventures.
Damn it, this will be the year, I tell you.
New dreams, new goals, new adventures are on the horizon every single day.
I DO NOT regret my reasons for moving and starting my LIFE.
I DO REGRET not standing up for myself when in the depths of my heart, I knew I was being wronged.
And to this day, I must deal with those consequences due to the fact that I didn’t stand up for myself and my feelings.
Insecurities take hold and swallow me whole. The past still taints my thoughts and existence.
I find myself reaching out to others, yet pushing them away.
No one can help but myself.
Why did you have to put me here in this position? Both of you.
Living your lives with no remorse, or so it seems.
I befriended you, girl. Killed you with kindness. You fucked him, while you fucked me over.
Boy, parading around with my heart in your hands. Not a care in the world, no clue how I’ve felt since you left.
I say I will speak for myself and let my feelings be known.. But wait. I still can’t. Not with you, at least. You’ll come back with a vengeance if I tried.
I hate you both, still, to this day, for what you did. SELFISH. INDULGENT. NONCHALANT. INCONSIDERATE. CONNIVING. HURTFUL. SELF-ABSORBED, the both of you.
I am weak. And you know it. I was proud to be a strong woman.. I can’t find her anywhere within me.. I try.. She’s lost, as of now..
2012, keep living, dreaming.. And find that woman.